I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
