Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
