I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
