Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize