I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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