I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Randomize
