shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
