Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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