I murdered the dance floor call the cops
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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