I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize