Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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