I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I need moral support for this bender
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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