toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
