he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
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Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
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I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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