I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
