Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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