What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
