Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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