I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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