i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
