Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
