that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
