I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
