i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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