does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
