I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
