Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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