Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Randomize
