he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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