That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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