I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
