you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
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What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
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