I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
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