Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
