I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
