come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
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