what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
