flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
