i was rollin on her like bob the builder
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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