Can i not drive my cunt home
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize