I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
