She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
