nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I lost the right to judge tonight
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
