shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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