I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
