I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
