The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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