Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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