Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize
