so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
