i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
