Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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