..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
