i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
