I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
