if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
