Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
