Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
