Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
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Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
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Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
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