Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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