Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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