haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
