No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
