Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
