So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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