Where are you?
In a non slutty way
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
