I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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