I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
