you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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